I have a 13 year-old, male, nephew, who acts weird. Considering his age, chances are he recently had that “special dream” that determines his sexual-readiness. You know, the sign of adultery, and stuffs like that. He successfully forced his dad to bought him an “anti-spy” screen protector for his mobile phone, the type which nobody can try to sneak-a-peek on who he’s texting, or what website he’s browsing. He spent a lot of (his daddy’s) money to buy refill vouchers for his phone, and his dad were mad at him for this reason.
My guess is, he discovered, and were intrigued to, sex, and porn.
Sadly, his parents were the kind who felt uncomfortable talking about this issue, and decided to leave this matter to those who are responsible, such as school, religion lesson, and forgetting the danger of incorrect understanding (usually received through friends and porn videos). And me, I’m just an aunt, incapable of trespassing the limit between a father and his son.
But I am still grateful to encounter this problem pretty early because I also have a son, who will grow up and have questions about sex, in his mind, and it’s my duty to dig out those questions so that he can share it with me. It’s pretty ewwwwwy, I know.. And I might not feel comfortable talking about this issue, but considering the risk my son will take if I choose to stay silent, I probably will begin by saying “You know, a sexual intercourse is a normal thing… BUT... like any other normal things, you must know when, and where to do it..”
I quote a funnier perspective about this issue from Psychology Today:
Just like kids need media literacy, kids need porn literacy. They need to understand that they’re watching actors playing roles, not documentaries. They need to understand that just as Glee and Harry Potter are edited, so are porn films. None of these media products is an accurate portrayal of real life.
Still thinking to let your child have their own understanding about sex, porn, or masturbation just because you feel weird talking about it? I know some religion have helped parents and made it pretty clear that premarital sex is forbidden, but there are also other threats that must be communicated, such as the deathly diseases and unwanted teenage pregnancy. I think the key is to help our kids to have control over it, and not to force them to consider it isn’t there.
It’s like hunger, you’re starving and you need something to eat. But that doesn’t mean you can’t choose your food, right? You’re not going to eat something that will make you sick, you have the choice. And when making choices, it is better if we have all the correct information about all the possibilities that can happen if we choose to do something with negative consequences. There are protection, but I think it’s better for kids to understand that the best way is to avoid it. But if they can’t avoid it, they need to know about how to protect themselves.
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