Tag Archives: love

A Knock On The Door

Back in 2004, I was a college girl, with a busy schedule between playing with several independent rock bands, working in a computer store and completing my final university assignments. He, on the other hand, was a 30 year-old guy who spent most of his days playing computer games with his friends, and had a great time enjoying unemployment.

We were busy with our own lives, until that bright day, when I took one of my friend to this cafe where me and my band love to hang out. To my surprise, she suddenly said, “Wait a minute.. I know this place!” ..which I replied, “Of course you do, didn’t I told you about this cafe for so many times but you always refused to come?”

“Not that cafe, but that house next to it. My boyfriend once took me there to meet his friend. There’s a guy there, his name is Egi. We spent an entire day there, playing computer games and watched movies!”

So there I was, in front of an old house and waving to my friends at the cafe, telling them to wait for a moment. We stood in front of his door, and my friend began to knock. He was sleeping, but then had to wake up because of my friend won’t stop knocking. And finally, there he was, opening the door with a face full of curiosity.. “Yes?” he said.. and my friend easily replied, “Hey! Remember me?”

And so begin the awkward moments. He finally let us in (he remembered who my friend was), but I didn’t stay for long because I have friends waiting at the cafe. My first impression of him was, “Damn, something about him looks similar to Johnny Depp, and yet he just woke up from an afternoon nap..”

yup, he wasn't like this, except for the hair, i think.. (Google Images)

Yummy.” I said to myself.

And ever since that day, it was one excuses after another. I have to see him again, but I must find a good reason!

The first thing I did in the morning was always sending text message to my girl friend, asking her to take me to that house again, “Don’t you want to play those computer games at his place?” or preparing other silly, stupid excuses such as, “There’s something wrong with my computer’s hard disk, I need him to fix it and you must take me there!!”

Which, of course, I believe he knew there’s nothing wrong with the disk. If there was anything wrong at all, it was my heart who was beating heavily everyday being around him, and how I can’t get him off my mind. I still don’t know whether he felt the same way about me when we first met, until one day I stopped at his place after attending one of my friends’ wedding party. I wore this pretty dress, and my friend forced me to put some make-up on my face. I had to look prettier than usual, then he began to made his moves.

I can’t really remember what happened next, the details, and how our relationship started, all I know a year later I was at his mom’s house, surrounded by his family and everyone was busy starring at me. “What’s your problem, people??” I thought to myself.

Then he said, “I was told,by my family, to marry you in January 2006, which is 4 months from now. What do you think? Can we make it in such limited time?”

And well, we did, sort of make it, anyway, despite the fact that he was unemployed when we got married. But then he got a job, and our marriage have survived until this very day. On May 2009, we have another member in the family, a baby boy, named “Bintang” (meaning bright star), a male version of myself with some of my husband’s character inside.

Taken during our vacation, October 2011

Our marriage may not be perfect, but I have a husband who thinks I’m the perfect woman, wife, and mom, despite my laziness to clean the house, to exercise, and to wear make ups. And for that, I’m so glad that me and my friend have the courage to knock on his door and woke him up from his afternoon nap, 8 years ago.

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(Wrote this blog as requested by friend blogger Ms Susan Amestoy, supporting her for “So… How Did You Meet Anyway?” a collection of stories from couples around the world.)

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Chapters

January 15, 2012, my 6th wedding anniversary. I’ve been preparing two cups of coffee for the same man, for six years.

this wedding ring looks pretty similar to mine

I’ve been staying in different places for six years. From renting a room with shared bathrooms which I paid monthly, to a small house with two bedrooms which I paid every two years, and now to a house that me and my man shall own by ourselves, well, after we’re finished paying 15 years of mortgage, where I will be 47 years old, on the year 2012 + 15 = 2027 !!

I’ve left my parents’ house six years ago, I brought nothing but my old motorcycle, some clothes, and a 160cmx200cm spring bed which we received as a wedding gift from my father’s friend. I still sleep on the same bed until today, with my man and my son cuddling next to me.

I’ve been with the same man who was previously jobless, but then was able to collect enough money to pay hospital charges due to the birth of our son, bought a motorcycle, bought an old/used car (though we sold it later), stereo sets, a flat screen TV, household appliances, gadgets and smart phones, and eventually, paid the down payment for our first house.

I’ve fell into the deepest hole of credit card debts, been running from debt collectors ever since, and was forced to meet them again when I must pay all the debts I owed, due to mortgage applications.

I am now in the next chapter of life, with great anticipation I am entering the year of the dragon, where my son will be 3 years old next May. Perhaps I will send him to early education centers, perhaps I will move to another company and start a new career with better salary, who can offer me a car, give me better challenges. Or maybe I’ll be a part-time teacher somewhere. I have plans, I have hope, and I have my man next to me.

Too bad goats and dragons DON"T get along.. *sigh*

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Hands Down

When you write a song from the heart, you will touch many hearts. So is Dashboard Confessional’s “Hands Down” written by the band’s lead vocalist Chris Carrabba, which was more a memoir of one of his best date during his early 20s. Even Wikipedia has a page about the song. The lyric is lovely, honest and I must say one of the most romantic song ever.

One of the best part of the song which always makes me smile:

The words are hushed lets not get busted, just lay entwined here, undiscovered..
Safe in here from all the stupid questions, “hey did you get some?”
Man, that is so dumb..
Stay quiet, stay near, stay close, so they can’t hear.
so we can get some..

Go see the lyric yourself.

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The Search For A Soulmate

Google Images

Today, with internet access and the rapid development of communication technology, do you still believe that your fate in finding your perfect match, the one person whom you shall marry to (and spend the rest of your life with, a.k.a your “soulmate“), lies upon God’s hand? In Bahasa, this aphorism of “Jodoh Di Tangan Tuhan” is still widely used and have different interpretations. Not just for single people, but also to those who are in a relationship, engaged or married, this understanding on how God has prepared someone –for us to love ’til death do us part— seems to have been misunderstood and thus confusing.

During my teenager years, this phrase have been somewhat helpful to rescue me from a stagnant, boring, going-nowhere, and on-off relationship. I once told myself, “Okay, I had enough of this battle and I’m gonna leave now, if he’s the one for me, then someday we’ll meet again, as arranged by God.“— I can no longer do this though, because I’m married.

You can’t simply get a divorce after having a dispute with your spouse and said that it is part of God’s plan. You can’t marry someone and then cheat with someone else just because you think they are your true soul mate.

And the fact is, we can never know for sure whether the person standing beside us right now is the one sent by God to be our soulmate, or NOT. It is something that you have to decide by yourself. For me, it doesn’t matter whether I’m married to my soulmate or not, what matters the most is the commitment I have with him. We can make them our soulmate, if we want to, if we choose to believe so, and if we are willing to do whatever we can to make it real.

I know that many of us believe that this “soulmate” thing is part of our destiny. But it doesn’t mean that we can use it as an excuse to hurt anyone by cheating. And if you’re among the single people looking for your “other half” please don’t solely rely on this phrase and then forgetting the elements of hard work. Your life partner is out there, but if you spend your days in front of your PC, what do you expect? That they will someday come knocking at your door asking you out on a date?

I believe in destiny, but above all I believe that it is hard work that will take us to our destiny. Otherwise, we will be like those people who dream about something so big, but forget to wake up to make it happen.

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