Category Archives: RANDOM

God Help Teh Ninih!

I know everybody is talking about this hot gossip, so making a blog about the Preacher of A Million People will not be special, but I can’t help wondering what the hell happened on Teh Ninih’s mind!???

Here’s what happened.

1987: Aa’ Gym marries Teh Ninih. They have 7 children, and slowly but sure, Aa’ Gym’s career skyrocketed with enormous job offers from all over Indonesia. He is also known as the owner of Islamic School of Daarut Tauhid in West Java, and became extremely famous as The Preacher of A Million People (dai sejuta umat).

November 2006: After almost 20 years of marriage and 7 kids, Aa’ Gym marries second wife Alfarini (Teh Rini). Being a polygamist, his career began to fell down but it doesn’t stop the couple from continue creating a happy family, and gave birth to a baby on November 2008.

June 2011: Aa’ Gym divorced Teh Ninih, due to different preaching style. Rumors said it was also heavily influenced by Aa’s decision to marry second wife Teh Rini.

March 2012: Aa’ Gym (re)marries Teh Ninih, and said that everything has been arranged by God. That it was all a matter of destiny, and it should be good for religion and for all mankind.

According to Teh Rini, she will not stay together with Teh Ninih because they never stay together anyway. Teh Rini stays in Jakarta, while Teh Ninih stays in Bandung. She said “Everything shall return to previous arrangements. Aa’ will stay in Jakarta with me, from Monday to Wednesday, and then goes to Bandung to be with Teh Ninih until the next Monday morning. Let’s pray that this will be good for everyone.”

Here’s what I think..

Aa’ Gym might have said a lot of wisdom to all his followers during his lectures. But a man’s character is based on his actions, not just words. Especially when his words are contrary to the fact that he treats his wife like sh*t. First, you told her you want to marry another woman. Even when she gave you her approval, you still filed for divorce and leave her with your 7 (seven, yes he have seven for God sake!!!) children alone.

Now you finally see that she’s the best thing that ever happened to you and you simply go to her house, asked her to marry you again, and then went to the KUA and mention your ijab kabul.

Not only you’re being a complete hypocrite, you hide yourself behind your religious covers, saying that God is the One who arranged this, and that everything is simply a matter of destiny.

It’s not destiny, you idiot hypocrite! It’s the wisdom of a woman name Teh Ninih who have a very big heart and endless patience to deal with man like you!

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A Knock On The Door

Back in 2004, I was a college girl, with a busy schedule between playing with several independent rock bands, working in a computer store and completing my final university assignments. He, on the other hand, was a 30 year-old guy who spent most of his days playing computer games with his friends, and had a great time enjoying unemployment.

We were busy with our own lives, until that bright day, when I took one of my friend to this cafe where me and my band love to hang out. To my surprise, she suddenly said, “Wait a minute.. I know this place!” ..which I replied, “Of course you do, didn’t I told you about this cafe for so many times but you always refused to come?”

“Not that cafe, but that house next to it. My boyfriend once took me there to meet his friend. There’s a guy there, his name is Egi. We spent an entire day there, playing computer games and watched movies!”

So there I was, in front of an old house and waving to my friends at the cafe, telling them to wait for a moment. We stood in front of his door, and my friend began to knock. He was sleeping, but then had to wake up because of my friend won’t stop knocking. And finally, there he was, opening the door with a face full of curiosity.. “Yes?” he said.. and my friend easily replied, “Hey! Remember me?”

And so begin the awkward moments. He finally let us in (he remembered who my friend was), but I didn’t stay for long because I have friends waiting at the cafe. My first impression of him was, “Damn, something about him looks similar to Johnny Depp, and yet he just woke up from an afternoon nap..”

yup, he wasn't like this, except for the hair, i think.. (Google Images)

Yummy.” I said to myself.

And ever since that day, it was one excuses after another. I have to see him again, but I must find a good reason!

The first thing I did in the morning was always sending text message to my girl friend, asking her to take me to that house again, “Don’t you want to play those computer games at his place?” or preparing other silly, stupid excuses such as, “There’s something wrong with my computer’s hard disk, I need him to fix it and you must take me there!!”

Which, of course, I believe he knew there’s nothing wrong with the disk. If there was anything wrong at all, it was my heart who was beating heavily everyday being around him, and how I can’t get him off my mind. I still don’t know whether he felt the same way about me when we first met, until one day I stopped at his place after attending one of my friends’ wedding party. I wore this pretty dress, and my friend forced me to put some make-up on my face. I had to look prettier than usual, then he began to made his moves.

I can’t really remember what happened next, the details, and how our relationship started, all I know a year later I was at his mom’s house, surrounded by his family and everyone was busy starring at me. “What’s your problem, people??” I thought to myself.

Then he said, “I was told,by my family, to marry you in January 2006, which is 4 months from now. What do you think? Can we make it in such limited time?”

And well, we did, sort of make it, anyway, despite the fact that he was unemployed when we got married. But then he got a job, and our marriage have survived until this very day. On May 2009, we have another member in the family, a baby boy, named “Bintang” (meaning bright star), a male version of myself with some of my husband’s character inside.

Taken during our vacation, October 2011

Our marriage may not be perfect, but I have a husband who thinks I’m the perfect woman, wife, and mom, despite my laziness to clean the house, to exercise, and to wear make ups. And for that, I’m so glad that me and my friend have the courage to knock on his door and woke him up from his afternoon nap, 8 years ago.

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(Wrote this blog as requested by friend blogger Ms Susan Amestoy, supporting her for “So… How Did You Meet Anyway?” a collection of stories from couples around the world.)



Present Comfort, and Sacrifice

I’m an easily-bored kind of person who always seeks for new opportunities in almost anything, and right now I am thinking to get a new job. I’ve been surfing through the internet to check out some new job offers and have submitted my applications as well.

So far, I have caught the eyes of 2 (two) big companies, which I already had an interview with but still haven’t been called for further tests or more discussions. One is a second biggest tobacco company in Indonesia, and the other one is a Switzerland-based power generation company.

I should be grateful ? (Google Images)

Like any other jobs, all of them have positive as well as negative sides. Compared to the condition in my current company, I surely will be more busy, will have to wake up earlier in the morning, and possibly arrive more late in the evening. In short, I probably gonna spend LESS time with my son..


But on the other hand, I will have a better salary to pay everything in my monthly expenses, including his school fees and hence (in the long run), provide a better future with better opportunities for him.


So in the end, sometimes.. as a parent, or as a regular human being, there will be times when we have to sacrifice our comfortable present, in order to pursue a better future, for ourselves, or for our children..

If life is the distance between what we have right now and what we hope for in the future, then how is the best way to take the path towards the future?

How much do we have to sacrifice to make the journey meaningful for us, for our family?

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Angelina Sondakh, and A Bunch of Golf Balls

Sometimes we all feel that 24 hours a day is just not enough. Sometimes we feel the urge to solve each and every problem we have in life. I’ve been feeling this lately and seems like I can’t do much about it, except to wait, surrender, to accept the fact that..

you’re just like any other human being with limited capabilities, and sometimes there are things that you can’t solve, no matter how hard you try..

Could this be how Angelina Sondakh feels right now?

My father is dead, and now my mom is going to jail.. (

All of this reminds me to a story of a college professor, a big jar or mayonnaise, a bunch of golf balls, some marbles, a box of sand and a bottle of wine. I found this lovely and inspiring story again yesterday, after browsing through my old bookmarks.

Once upon a time, a college professor brought a big (but empty) mayonnaise jar, and he throw golf balls into it until the jar is full. “Is it full now? ” he asked to his students. “Yes, it is” they replied. Then, he poured the jar with marbles, shook it a little bit and they filled the empty holes between the golf balls. “Is it full now?” he asked his students again. “Yes, it is” they replied.

beautiful marbles.. (google images)

Next, the professor took a box of sand and slowly poured it to the jar, leaving it with no room for anything else. He then poured a couple glass of wine, and began to explain what the experiment is all about.

This jar, is your life. The golf balls, are the things in your life that matters the most. Your family, friends, your passion and your health.

If everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The marbles are essential for your life, like your job, your car, your house. The sands are everything else, small stuffs.

If you put the sand into the jar first, there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.

The same goes for your life: If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

Got the point?

Let me make it more simple. It’s okay if you’re jobless, as long as you’re healthy, surrounded by family and friends who love you, and you can still follow your passion to write blogs. You got your golf balls. But if you’re a rich person without anyone who love you, then there’s obviously something wrong with your life. Go fix it.

Now back to Angelina Sondakh. If only she was using the above guidance to determine what’s really important in her own life, perhaps she can avoid all the trouble she must face today. As a woman, as a person, she had the golf balls (her family, friends, her “Puteri Indonesia” title) and the marbles (her political career, her luxurious house, some cars), all of them are more than enough to give her a full, complete, life.

But then, she threw the golf balls and the marbles out of the jar, and make room for a 1,5 billion Rupiahs worth of sand.

Wrong choice, Angie.. (

And now she must deal with the consequences.

When something bad happened to our marbles, like when we lost our job, somebody stole our car, or when our house is on fire, we can still be grateful because we still have our golf balls. But sometimes things can go wrong with your golf balls. You can be sick, you can lost people you love, etc. At these times, I don’t believe gratitude can make anyone happy.

But in the case of Angelina Sondakh, seems like she had forgotten which are her golf balls, which are her marbles, which are her sand. Which things really matter and are sufficient to make her grateful, and which are the small stuff that she’s not supposed to be thinking (or make as priority).

I’m going to keep in mind now, that I, too, have my golf balls. My parents, sisters, husband, son, friends, my health, my blog as my passion, and even my in-laws. I got my marbles: my job, my motorbike, my house (though I have to pay the mortgage), and all of these things are supposed to be enough to make me grateful and enjoy my life.

These are the things that matters the most.

Have you got yours? (Google Images)

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January 15, 2012, my 6th wedding anniversary. I’ve been preparing two cups of coffee for the same man, for six years.

this wedding ring looks pretty similar to mine

I’ve been staying in different places for six years. From renting a room with shared bathrooms which I paid monthly, to a small house with two bedrooms which I paid every two years, and now to a house that me and my man shall own by ourselves, well, after we’re finished paying 15 years of mortgage, where I will be 47 years old, on the year 2012 + 15 = 2027 !!

I’ve left my parents’ house six years ago, I brought nothing but my old motorcycle, some clothes, and a 160cmx200cm spring bed which we received as a wedding gift from my father’s friend. I still sleep on the same bed until today, with my man and my son cuddling next to me.

I’ve been with the same man who was previously jobless, but then was able to collect enough money to pay hospital charges due to the birth of our son, bought a motorcycle, bought an old/used car (though we sold it later), stereo sets, a flat screen TV, household appliances, gadgets and smart phones, and eventually, paid the down payment for our first house.

I’ve fell into the deepest hole of credit card debts, been running from debt collectors ever since, and was forced to meet them again when I must pay all the debts I owed, due to mortgage applications.

I am now in the next chapter of life, with great anticipation I am entering the year of the dragon, where my son will be 3 years old next May. Perhaps I will send him to early education centers, perhaps I will move to another company and start a new career with better salary, who can offer me a car, give me better challenges. Or maybe I’ll be a part-time teacher somewhere. I have plans, I have hope, and I have my man next to me.

Too bad goats and dragons DON"T get along.. *sigh*

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Thank You, Hope.

Okay, perhaps I’ve written about this too many times, but since I keep forgetting it, especially when I face difficult times, I’m going to write about it again.

You know those days when you’re expecting for a miracle but end-up crying for a tragedy instead? I just had it for the past few weeks. I still have it, actually, because nothing have changed since it happened, and it can probably get worse.

I was waiting for a great amount of money to decrease my mortgage installment, but then my father (who broke his leg 8 months ago) needed another surgery to fix his leg, which is, well, needs to be repositioned, realigned.

Anyway.. there I was, feeling confused.. Got no money, and yet have to pay for so many things! My mortgage, my dad’s upcoming surgery..

I still got no money, and my dad’s leg still need to be fix soon..

But yesterday, I collected all of my courage to bravely asked a friend at the human resource section, on the possibilities of me, leaving my current job. And he said, there’s no problem, as long as I gave a one month notice before starting in a new place.

Suddenly, I see a glimpse of light that I do have a hope, to change the situation. I can always look for another company who (hopefully will pay me better), give me new experiences and new working environment.

And so I updated my new resume, sent it to few companies who advertised vacant positions, and felt a burst of new energy started to fill my days. I am alive again, thanks to hope.

Hope for a better future, in achievable ways. It brightens my day, and I was so happy today that I decided to upload my own version of Adele’s “One and Only” to SoundCloud.

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How College Ruined My Life, and Then Saved It

I use to dream to become an architect. But when I was in high school, I got a terrible grade on chemistry (the perfect score was 100, and mine was 40). I couldn’t continue to IPA (natural science) class, and hence couldn’t apply on any university to study architecture.

I don’t know whether this system is still used until today or not, all I know, the Minister of Education, sucks!

After 3rd grade, I tried the UMPTN test but failed. So my parents sent me to one of the most expensive college in Surabaya, where I choose the Economics major. Because it felt like the right thing to do. Sort of.

Turns out, studying economics makes me extremely bored. I lost my motivation to study and got pretty distracted. Instead, I learned to held music gigs with my friends, joined and played with a few indie bands, and worked part-time in a computer store. Suddenly, I have spent 7 (yes, SEVEN !!!) years in college, and still didn’t know how it will END.

That’s it. Do it or leave it. I got one year to complete my final assignment, or the university will kick my butt.

So I decided to finish it. I left my bands, put myself together, do my final assignments, and eventually, graduated. Since I never went to the graduation ceremony, I always wonder how my face would look like wearing the toga.

Wonder how this hat feels..

While some graduates were facing difficult times looking for a job, I was pretty lucky to have a friend who told me that her office needed a Secretary. I sent my application, did the interview, and were successfully hired. I was working full time, felt proud with myself, even though..


The only thing that was useful was my graduation certificate. My friend told me that one of the reasons I got accepted by her boss was because I graduated from a reputable university.

The decision to attend college may have destroyed 8 (eight) valuable years of my life, but on the other hand, it has also gave me a job, with monthly salary and health insurance, a job which helped me to raise a son, pay the mortgage, and eventually moving on.

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(End of the first part of “should you or should you not go to college” series)