Autonomy

As I entered motherhood, I never realize that “envious, insecure, dictating mommies” are pretty damn annoying. They’re all over you and they give negative comments about your parenting style.

They have all these questions, such as.. Why are you still working? How can you trust your baby to a nanny? Why aren’t you breastfeeding? Why are you using formula brand A, instead of B, I heard that C is the best but it’s also the most expensive. Why are you giving your baby MMR vaccine, it can cause autism. Why aren’t you exercising to make your body return to its normal shape? Why didn’t you enroll your child to a baby class, it’s good for his socialization skills? Why isn’t your baby walking? Why isn’t your baby talking? Why is your baby always crying?

How can you let your child watch TV? Why aren’t you reading him books and buy him educational toys? Why do you take your baby to the mall, instead take him to the zoo, the parks!

I’m a mother to a 2,5 year-old toddler son who talks, sing, and dance together with her child everyday, in-front-of-the-TV. We read books together but only if my son wants to. We go to the mall, almost every weekend and we have visited the zoo perhaps once or twice. I’m a working mom, who left her son at home with our nanny, 10 hours a day, 5 days a week. But I don’t hate stay-at-home moms, nor praise them whatsoever, UNLESS they are insulting other moms who choose to work. My 2,5 year-old toddler son is not going (and never been enrolled) to any school and I still haven’t decide whether he’s going to join a preschool or take music and art courses instead, later, when he’s 3. Or 4, I have no idea, I will have to ask him first.

I don’t have a clear idea of what my parenting skill is, all I know is that everytime I come home at the afternoon, my son told my everything he did with our nanny that day, and he eagerly showed me the new things he had learn. Then we play, and play, and play, and talk, and sing, and sleep, together. He’s a happy child and it’s easier for me to teach him about new things, now that we can have a mom-and-son conversation regularly.

It is also the same case with people at the social network and technology scene. First, we have Friendster, then we move to Facebook, and then Twitter, and we create a Google+ account, and forgetting it, and returned to Twitter. Why is it that people who find themselves enjoying Twitter or G+ ended up insulting Facebook? And what the hell is up with people hating the BlackBerry? If you’re enjoying your iPhone or Android phones/gadgets, why can’t you just enjoy yourself and shut up? Why do you have to insult the innocent BlackBerry (and its users)? Do you think that it will make you look cool?

Talking about living in the land of hate. And they call themselves as the people who are supporting diversity. But at the same time they are giving examples to their children about how to hate other people who choose something else different.

There are things in life that we don’t like, but does it mean we have to insult other people’s choices? We are all the same, we’re all human beings trying to make our dreams come true. And we are reaching towards that dream according to what we think will be good for us, which is -obviously- isn’t always the same compared to others. That’s why we have what I called “autonomy.” The freedom to choose whatever works best for us.

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