A Bigger Heart

Critics.

Successfully made your heart shrinks, right?

Not an expert in psychology, but I’m pretty sure that the first normal reaction for most people when they received critics, are, denial.

Me, too.

At the beginning of the last month of the year 2011, where everyone starts counting down to 2012, and plan their new-year resolution (or reviewing the one they made last year), I was forced to accept the bitter fact to put “Be punctual!!” in my next year’s resolution. Why? Well, I just received an e-mail from my boss asking me about my horrible punctuality status.

Like anyone else, my first reaction was, “O, shit.. It matters now..?!” which was followed by a quest for several excuses (with no result), moved to plan-B: beg for forgiveness, and plan-C: deal with it.

Surrendered to the reality that it was myself who caused this mess, I refuse to call it a bad luck. A bad luck is something unpredictable, mostly happened even when you already tried to avoid it. But this disobedience issue between me and “arriving on time to work” is not unpredictable. It’s me, and my awful habit, period. It’s something I need to accept as a warning, and the only solution is to admit my mistakes.

So I replied my nice boss, saying “Thank you for your forewarning, I have no reason whatsoever for my lateness. I do live 18 KM from office, and got caught in traffic often, but it is not an excuse for me being late. I admit that I have not paid attention to punctuality issues, and I will bear the consequences for being disobedient.”

Sent, and .. pheeeewwww….. that was relieving.. sort of.

Then, he replied, “Febri, thank you for your attention and explanation. We look forward to your improvement on this matter. Thanks for your understanding.”

* * *

Critics made your heart shrinks, but accepting them and realizing your mistakes in order to change into a better person proved that you have a big heart. Bigger and stronger than before.

And for that, I certainly will put “waking up earlier in order to arrive on time at work” as one of my goal next year. It’s no longer something that I kept saying, planned to do, but never actually committed to.

* * *

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