The Search For A Soulmate

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Today, with internet access and the rapid development of communication technology, do you still believe that your fate in finding your perfect match, the one person whom you shall marry to (and spend the rest of your life with, a.k.a your “soulmate“), lies upon God’s hand? In Bahasa, this aphorism of “Jodoh Di Tangan Tuhan” is still widely used and have different interpretations. Not just for single people, but also to those who are in a relationship, engaged or married, this understanding on how God has prepared someone –for us to love ’til death do us part— seems to have been misunderstood and thus confusing.

During my teenager years, this phrase have been somewhat helpful to rescue me from a stagnant, boring, going-nowhere, and on-off relationship. I once told myself, “Okay, I had enough of this battle and I’m gonna leave now, if he’s the one for me, then someday we’ll meet again, as arranged by God.“— I can no longer do this though, because I’m married.

You can’t simply get a divorce after having a dispute with your spouse and said that it is part of God’s plan. You can’t marry someone and then cheat with someone else just because you think they are your true soul mate.

And the fact is, we can never know for sure whether the person standing beside us right now is the one sent by God to be our soulmate, or NOT. It is something that you have to decide by yourself. For me, it doesn’t matter whether I’m married to my soulmate or not, what matters the most is the commitment I have with him. We can make them our soulmate, if we want to, if we choose to believe so, and if we are willing to do whatever we can to make it real.

I know that many of us believe that this “soulmate” thing is part of our destiny. But it doesn’t mean that we can use it as an excuse to hurt anyone by cheating. And if you’re among the single people looking for your “other half” please don’t solely rely on this phrase and then forgetting the elements of hard work. Your life partner is out there, but if you spend your days in front of your PC, what do you expect? That they will someday come knocking at your door asking you out on a date?

I believe in destiny, but above all I believe that it is hard work that will take us to our destiny. Otherwise, we will be like those people who dream about something so big, but forget to wake up to make it happen.

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